Janie was sitting across from me as girlfriends do all curled up on opposite ends of the couch as we swapped silly stories and the latest details of our lives. Janie is always chipper, sweet and so upbeat at times you could just smack her. And I love it.
Somehow the topic of sex and wives roles in the marriage came up and I watched the always smiley face turn and twist in ways I had not seen before. Concerned I began to inquire more. Janie seemed unsure of what she was about to say but I am so glad she trusted our friendship to proceed to share. (We will call her hubby Jack!) "Well, Jack and I are kinda maybe once every 6 weeks or so kinda people. And when we do do it I just have such a hard time and hope it's over quick. Is that bad?" I tried to hold my surprise but I'm not sure I did such a great job.
Janie began to tell me about her struggles to want to please her husband. She is an amazing wife and they have the kind of relationship I hope to have someday. Jack is patient, hard working and quick as a whip with the jokes. They are a lovely couple. But secretly Janie was dealing with some unfortunate aftermath of a hysterectomy at a young age and side effects from some medications making her sex drive just take a dive.
I saw the pain and embarrassment in her eyes and I knew what she was feeling. I had been through a similar experience in life and it is nothing short of awful. We began to peel back the onion and get to some really good stuff. I tried my best to encourage her to a "sex plan" that I believed would light the fire and help out a bit.
That evening she sat down with Jack and laid out her plan. "Jack, I have decided that I value you and our marriage and although I have tried just about every potion, trick and stimulant to get our sex life going I am not giving up. I have a plan. I want to make it a point to have sex twice a week for a month and see how things go. I want this to be a proirity but I will need a few things from you to help this to be a success." She began to clue him in on a few things she knew she enjoyed and would like to stay away from to help her feel more comfortable. He was beyond happy to comly. They were now a team. A team working together to bring a wholeness and new level of intimacy between them.
Well, I went over to visit with Janie this morning and I walked in to a giddy woman dancing around the kitchen to Katy Perry, bopping like a teenager who just got asked out by her dream crush. It was the cutest thing ever. She couldn't wait to gush about how great she felt and how Jack was so happy this morning. She says with a little smirk...he even got out of the shower all frisky today, wore his towel as a cape and exclaimed 'I'm Batman!!!' Oh it was so cute"
I couldn't help but smile from ear to ear. Here was this beautiful woman, fantastic mother beaming with joy. Her efforts to love her husband had paid off in ways I don't think she even expected. It is such an amazing and wonderful power we have to love and care for our husbands. I was inspired by her openness, bravery and determination to serve her husband and heal a broken spot in their marriage.
Women, we are called to love and care for our husbands. What an honor! I can't think of a better charge. I think we are quick to forget or perhaps don't ever truly understand the power ew hold over our men. This can be used for good or harm. We have the power to heal a broken heart with uplifting words and encouragement. However, we also have the power to tear down a good man and reduce him to dust. Our men need our love and support. What Janie did for her husband speaks volumes to him, his worth and I garauntee you she will get that kitchen painted whenever she wanted without a fuss! Our men need our reinforcement. It is a daily choice on our part how we treat them, the words we speak to them and the tone in which we use.
So Ladies, If he is Batman, than we are Catwomen! Now meow little kitties and use your powers for good!
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