Snarglebarf...

...means I have no words...

Tonight my heart was rocked. 

An email came to me through the women I volunteer with at church saying there was a single mom with 5 children who had landed on some difficult times and would not be able to provide gifts for her children this Christmas.

This familiar deep deep rooted mixture of wild emotions washed over me and I knew I had to jump in both feet first.

See, for the past 2 years I have been in her shoes. I am a single mom and first time college student, trying desperately to earn a better life for my family.  If we couldnt afford to barely keep up with rent or a new coat during the winter, Christmas gifts were surely out of the question.

I have looked my (then) 6 year old son in the face and as gently as Ipossibly could, explained that we would not be exchanging gifts that year but that I knew his grandparents would do their best to try an make is special with a few things when we got down there. (Still wasn't sure how I was going to buy the gas to actually get them there)

My son looked me in the eye and without budging said :It's ok, mommy. I'm okay with just a few things from Grandma and Papa. Mom, do you want to have my money from my piggy bank? You can have it!" 

I just cried happy tears that my boy was learning what is really important in this life. Not the gifts and shiny things, but love. Family. Compassion. Grace. My heart was overflowing.

Even now I'm not sure how we will make it through the holidays but that is not even on my worry radar screen. God has been so merciful and gracious to my little family.

I am mostly excited (like ridiculously excited) to play a small role in knowing the joy, the love that this other single mom will get to experience when her whole list is completely filled by strangers who support her! THAT is the good stuff.  THAT is Christmas.  THAT is love.  ove should be a verb. You DO love. SHOW love. BE love.

This, my friends, is what I live for. What an incredibly meaningful night.

I am so grateful that I am learning how to live a joyous life through loving and serving others. It is truly unlike anything I have ever known.

Knight In Shining Prius

Last night sucked.

My little boy spiked a fever out if nowhere and it wouldn't quit. I finally got it to stop with Tylenol after quickly approaching 103.2.

I posted in Facebook asking if anyone had experienced such a quick and hard hitting fever.

Within seconds my phone was beeping like the NASA control center at launch time! Texts, comments, private messages, phone calls...I couldn't keep up!

Within 3 minutes my phone is ringing (from Mr. Boy I told you about a while back that I ordered to date another woman....lol...if you missed that blog ya gotta hop back a few and read That Lovely Gentleman I Was Tellin' Y'all About post. Funny stuff)

He's on the line and before I can say hello he's asking "what do you need and how can I help?" Without so much as a moments hesitation he hopped in his car for a 30+ minute drive to scoop us up and accompany us to the ER.

I swear a little gray Prius has never looked so wonderful. I'm used to making these awful trips alone. This time it would have been trying to carry two sleepy children in the dow pour of rain and maneuver the Emergency Room shenanigans a hot mess!

Ah, but up strolled the Prius and a stand in parent for the night. I was so relieved.

All day today follow up texts, posts, messages poured in checking on my little guy.

I am so thankful for community. So thankful there are people who care beyond just themselves and their needs.

What could have been a terrible, lonely, wet night turned out to be full of ER room laughs, tons of love and warm fuzzies.

Highlight moment: Pulljng away from hospital as goofball Mr. Boy is screaming "I don't feel safe at hoooome! I don't feel safe at hooooome!" (Finding fun in the nurse needing to ask us this question for typical safety protocol) I swear I was dying, waiting to see the flashing lights.

All in all... Good community is rad. Thanks, good folks of my little community. Y'all are good stuff.

My Kitchen is A Complete Wreck...And I Couldn't be Happier.

For the last few days I have been flying around the house prepping it just so.  Tweaking each and every little detail until I felt it was just right.  Cleaning every nook and cranny, wrapping up long lost projects that sat staring at me for months, putting on the perfect soft music and lighting the yummy scented candles. 

And now, it is all a complete mess.  Dishes piled head high in the sink.  Kids playroom thoroughly "played" in.  Cups and plates strewn across the backyard. Dirt tracked through the kitchen. Furniture moved and misplaced.

...And I'm just all smiles.

Last night I hosted a small group/bible study in my home for the first time.  Over the last few weeks I would sit in church listening to the Pastor boast about becoming a small group host and what a blessing it would be.  All I know is that every time the subject came up, this feeling just washed over me. Tugged at my heart.  So, I took baby steps.  Went to an orientation...Asked 1 friend if she would commit to joining (assuming she would be the ONLY friend joining!...sat on my hands a while trying to think of excuses why I shouldn't go through with it...then just jumped in.  Send out tons of invites and decided I was to be obedient and fully immerse myself in this experience.

I got so excited each time someone would RSVP that they were coming.  Could it be that people actually think I can pull this off?!  Oh my.  Pressure.  But it was an exciting pressure.  One that propelled me forward, encouraged me.

As people began to show up my insecurities decided to peek out and make me doubt ...oh goodness, they are going to laugh at how small my house is...I wonder if they realize how slanted the foundation is in here...are they wishing they had chosen a different group? I just decided to knock off the self trash talkin' and welcome each individual with a hug and a smile. 

7 adults and 7 children made their way through my doors last night.  Most people did not know each other prior to our meeting. One of our guests was Deaf and another Hard of Hearing. I was nervous to see how or if everyone could blend.  Would our Deaf guest feel left out?  Would our hearing guests be uncomfortable? Little did I have to worry...God was in this place...and we busted down the language barriers. 

Each and every one of us took our turns laughing, joking, sharing and just enjoying each other.  Connecting.  It was a beautiful sight.  I couldn't believe I almost turned away from this commitment.

At the conclusion of our evening together the dynamic had shifted.  We had officially gelled.  We became a mini community. I was honored to share my home with these new friends.

So, now I am off to (for the first time ever) clean up my mess of a house...with a smile.  This home is built for love.  And love happened here last night.

Small house...Big Heart...Plenty of Room.  Come on in.