"I'm Batman!"

Yesterday I had the honor of hearing a rather personal heartbreaking admission from a very dear friend. We will call her Janie.

Janie was sitting across from me as girlfriends do all curled up on opposite ends of the couch as we swapped silly stories and the latest details of our lives.  Janie is always chipper, sweet and so upbeat at times you could just smack her.  And I love it.

Somehow the topic of sex and wives roles in the marriage came up and I watched the always smiley face turn and twist in ways I had not seen before.  Concerned I began to inquire more. Janie seemed unsure of what she was about to say but I am so glad she trusted our friendship to proceed to share. (We will call her hubby Jack!) "Well, Jack and I are kinda maybe once every 6 weeks or so kinda people.  And when we do do it I just have such a hard time and hope it's over quick.  Is that bad?"  I tried to hold my surprise but I'm not sure I did such a great job.

Janie began to tell me about her struggles to want to please her husband.  She is an amazing wife and they have the kind of relationship I hope to have someday. Jack is patient, hard working and quick as a whip with the jokes. They are a lovely couple.  But secretly Janie was dealing with some unfortunate aftermath of a hysterectomy at a young age and side effects from some medications making her sex drive just take a dive.

I saw the pain and embarrassment in her eyes and I knew what she was feeling.  I had been through a similar experience in life and it is nothing short of awful.  We began to peel back the onion and get to some really good stuff.   I tried my best to encourage her to a "sex plan" that I believed would light the fire and help out a bit.

That evening she sat down with Jack and laid out her plan.  "Jack, I have decided that I value you and our marriage and although I have tried just about every potion, trick and stimulant to get our sex life going I am not giving up.  I have a plan.  I want to make it a point to have sex twice a week for a month and see how things go. I want this to be a proirity but I will need a few things from you to help this to be a success."  She began to clue him in on a few things she knew she enjoyed and would like to stay away from to help her feel more comfortable.  He was beyond happy to comly.  They were now a team. A team working together to bring a wholeness and new level of intimacy between them.

Well, I went over to visit with Janie this morning and I walked in to a giddy woman dancing around the kitchen to Katy Perry, bopping like a teenager who just got asked out by her dream crush.  It was the cutest thing ever.  She couldn't wait to gush about how great she felt and how Jack was so happy this morning.  She says with a little smirk...he even got out of the shower all frisky today, wore his towel as a cape and exclaimed 'I'm Batman!!!' Oh it was so cute"

I couldn't help but smile from ear to ear. Here was this beautiful woman, fantastic mother beaming with joy. Her efforts to love her husband had paid off in ways I don't think she even expected. It is such an amazing and wonderful power we have to love and care for our husbands. I was inspired by her openness, bravery and determination to serve her husband and heal a broken spot in their marriage.

Women, we are called to love and care for our husbands.  What an honor! I can't think of a better charge. I think we are quick to forget or perhaps don't ever truly understand the power ew hold over our men. This can be used for good or harm. We have the power to heal a broken heart with uplifting words and encouragement.  However, we also have the power to tear down a good man and reduce him to dust. Our men need our love and support.  What Janie did for her husband speaks volumes to him, his worth and I garauntee you she will get that kitchen painted whenever she wanted without a fuss!  Our men need our reinforcement. It is a daily choice on our part how we treat them, the words we speak to them and the tone in which we use.

So Ladies, If he is Batman, than we are Catwomen! Now meow little kitties and use your powers for good!

Big Fat Scary Step of Faith...or Stupidity?

A few months ago I found out that my 2 kids and I were going to need to move out of our comfy little home where we dwelled in the lovely, cushy bubble of suburbia complete with close together matching houses and the only home we have known here living in Georgia.  I felt like my world was falling apart and to be quite honest, I had flashes of the future with my poor little family homeless and begging. (ok, so I knew it would go THAT far but I was pretty scared)

We don't have much extra income (or really any) so I was nervous how I was going to swing moving costs, deposits, a truck and even people to help! My family is all in a different state and I don't have much help around here in that respect.

Anyway, I had a minor (somewhat major, but who's counting) breakdown until I decided I had to find peace and kick this problems rear end like I knew I could do.  I started the dreaded house hunting process and everything I found was wayyyy off from what we wanted and were accustomed to. I was fighting discouragement in a bad way.  I just kept telling myself that we were going to be just fine.  We always were. But that sneaky voice kept haunting me with 'yeah but this time you are in over your head, lady.' But I just kept kicking it out.

I searching Craigslist every evening when the kids went to bed. Each night, nothing.  Until one night... it was a Thursday and I had come to know each new postting by sight since I check so frequently.  Well, that Thursday night I saw one new post...it read... "Farm House"  Hmmm... It was just enough to grab my curiosity.  I clicked thinking it would just be something to look at.

I fell in love.

This cute little red house that sat on 40 acres of...wait for it...a horse ranch. What you may not know is that I have a little 5 year old daughter who has a passion for growing up to become a horse trainer.  I thought it would be a fleeting phase but it has stuck since about 18 months and only gets stronger!

My thoughts went immediately to her and what a blessing this could be. I knew riding lessons were going to be too costly for me but this...this could be a crazy, wild fun adventure.  I thought all the searching must have drivin me to insanity becasue I was emailing a man about living on a farm.  (Did I mention I grew up in Orange County, California...yeah...not exactly a farm kind of girl! ...or so I thought)

Anyway, we set up an appointment and the guy was very straight foreward that he had a ton of interest and he was looking for a specific type of family.  (I put on my charm...insert little wink here!) Before you knew it...we had a deal and I was handing him a check!

VERY quickly all I could think about was holyyyyy crap WHAT did I just do?! A farm.  Living on a farm. Oh, self, you have really done it this time!  But truth is, I sort of craved the idea of my kids learning hard work and becoming independent and not afraid to get a little dirty and muck a stall full of poop! (There are plenty of kids I wish I could force to do this with!)

Well, God showed up and provided.  A chain went through my church that there was a single mom in need of help on that coming Saturday...oh yeah...it was a record high of 107 degrees that day. I thought for no one would be crazy enough to sacrifice their Saturday to come help a stranger move on a record setting day of heat!  I was wrong...

Most all of these people I had never me until they showed up with tools and a smile to help me move.

A steady train of strangers and friends coming and going constantly with gracious hearts.

And then I found this... the only item left in the home from the previous owner.  A fortune that read: "Life is a series of choices. Today yours are good ones." I finally took a deep breath and smiled.

Being a single parent comes with a great deal of pressure if you are trying to be a good one! Where will I choose to raise my family. Is this the right school to form my childrens futures? Is this the right neighborhood for them to flourish? Or in my case... Should I move us all to a farm and pray for the best?!

We have been in our new farm house for about a month and a half now.  School just started and I was still looking for some kind of confirmation that I wasn't dragging my kids off on some nutso adventure that I would end up regretting badly.  Well, this week I got my confirmation.

I watched as my kids ran back and forth with excitement to get carrots to feed all of the horses who know them now and come to eagerly to the sound of their tiny voices. Knowing treat are to come! Waiting on the bus I saw what I had been hoping for. It was working. They were loving this new life and soaking up every bit of what I secretly wished for.  Joy. Love. Compassion. Playing outdoors. Taking care of the animals. Bonding. Nature hikes.  It was working. I had done it.  They both have expressed to me this week that mama made a great choice for our new home. *Sigh*

This is our bus stop in the front yard. Both kids with backpacks feeding horrses while waiting to go to school. Memories that will shape them and leave lasting imprints. <3

Nature scavenger hunts with a cutie I've been dating. (maybe more to come on that one at another time!) Boys vs Girls...

Boys won. Of course. Turds.

This has no part to this story whatsoever. It just melts my heart. :-D

I guess I shared this to vent, to encourage, the be appreciative, to give hope.  Something I thought was life-ruining turned out to be one of the biggest, fattest, scariest decisions...that was nothing short of incredible.

So, feel free to come and visit...just bring a bag of carrots!